


An Unspoken Secret

by TheClassics4



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-01-15
Packaged: 2017-11-25 14:26:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/639805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheClassics4/pseuds/TheClassics4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Belle means everything to Rumpelstiltskin. Rose, however, can mean nothing to Mr. Gold.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Unspoken Secret

Belle had been slowly going out around town. Or rather Rose as she was known here. Rumpelstiltskin had to keep that in mind. She was staying at Granny’s inn. He’d heard people saying she was afraid of her father and that was why she refused to live with him.

It pained him to see her the way she was. Never in all the months when she’d been at the Dark Castle had she ever looked so miserable. Even the first few months when she’d tried to run from him, she was never sad, only determined.

She walked with her shoulders hunched, her eyes never leaving the ground. The few times he passed her, he had to restrain himself from wrapping his arms around her. His little Belle was suffering and it broke his already mangled heart. 

He didn’t know why she’d been locked away, but it had something to do with violent hallucinations. Hallucinations about cloaked men and dark women. At first he had hoped maybe she remembered her life before. But he realized that was what made her miserable.

Everyone told her these memories made her insane. Everyone told her they weren’t real. Others had lived in Storybrook with their memories: the Queen, himself, the hatter. They hadn’t been locked in a cell and told for decades their reality was imagined.

He knew for certain those memories remained the day she’d been released. It was the first day he’d seen her since she’d left. The first time he’d known she was alive.

He’d come to the hospital to retrieve his property from the Boyd girl when she was being led out by her father and Dr. Hopper. Her eyes had been wide, her mouth gaping at him. The look on her face no doubt mirrored his own expression.

She’d immediately turned to her doctor, whispering madly, not even trying to be discreet as she gawked at him. Hopper had tried to calm her and when that didn’t work, he’d brought her over and introduced them.

“Rose, this is Mr. Gold,” he’d said.

Neither of them could say anything and the silence lasted hours in moments. He reached out and squeezed her shoulder, unable to believe what he was seeing. She was standing before him, looking exactly as she had the day she’d left, beautiful and perfect. And alive.

“Mr. Gold?” Hopper said, watching the exchange wearily, “This, uh, this is Rose French.”

“…Of course. Ms. French,” he nodded.

“Have you two met before?”

“I—” the words stuck in his throat. Of course he couldn’t tell the doctor they’d known each other. Of course he’d never seen this girl; she’d been locked away during the curse’s entirety, giving Gold no chance of knowing her.

He shook his head, not knowing what his actions would lead to, “It’s nice to meet you, Ms. French. I’m Mr. Gold.”

Her eyes had changed, he could still picture it. They had visibly darkened with misery and she’d turned from him without saying a word.

From that moment on, she’d avoided him like the plague, never meeting his eyes, never speaking when he was near, crossing the street when she saw him on the sidewalk. What he would give to have that moment back, to tell her he was still the beast she’d fallen in love with, that he wasn’t a creation of a sick mind.

She never gave him that chance. She was always with the wolf girl. Rumpelstiltskin gained a new appreciation for Ruby. She’d gotten Rose out; she tried to make her feel happier. It didn’t help much, but it was more than most of the residents were doing.

Rumpelstiltskin found himself in Granny’s diner more and more. Granny had eyed him wearily as he had never been in before without the intention of retrieving rent. As he continued to come, his presence became a normal thing and before he even sat down, his usual cup of tea awaited him.

His visits hadn’t been for nothing. Rose had been in the diner twice since he’d started going. Each time had been painfully awkward, but worth the reward of seeing her—even if it had only been for a few minutes. She’d laid eyes on him and left almost immediately.

Just a few days ago, he’d seen her for the second time in the diner. She’d been there before he’d arrived. The second he’d opened the door, he knew she was there. His eyes immediately sought her out in the back table with Ruby. Her eyes didn’t dart away from him. She watched him just as he watched her.

“Mr. Gold.”

It had been the mayor’s voice. She’d slid into the booth across from him with a devilish smile. “How are you today?”

“Madame Mayor, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I am just wondering just how much you know about Miss Swann.”

“Why would I know anything about her?”

“It seems she has decided she’s going to run for sheriff. And if I recall correctly, you said I should come to you. I’m willing to pay,” she slid an envelope across the table.

“Oh, yes. You’ll pay,” he said, smiling. “I know nothing about Miss Swann.”

“Good and it should stay that way,” she continued to sip at her drink as he stood.

“Regina, you really have no say in who I associate with.”

“Mr. Gold, it would be a shame if something were to happen.”

“Are you threatening me, dear?”

“Not you,” she said, trying to hold back a smile, “I do, however, know of a certain girl who seems to have caught your eye.”

His jaw tightened, but he kept his eyes from looking at Rose. The evil smile she wore told him all he needed to know. The Evil Queen was capable of anything to get the upper hand.

Belle was his weakness, a weakness he thought she’d already exploited to the fullest degree. He’d been wrong. There were still other ways of using Belle against him.

This, however, was Storybrooke. In Storybrook, she was Rose and he was Mr. Gold. Mr. Gold was alone. He had no one to care for, no one to love. No weaknesses. Rose meant nothing to Mr. Gold and therefore was useless to her.

Regina had no concrete evidence of who he was. She had suspicions. He’d planted the suspicions and he could just as easily take them back. Rumpelstiltksin remembered being Mr. Gold. He could be him again. It would keep Belle safe. He had to be Mr. Gold again.

“Ah, Regina, you know you’re the only woman in my life,” he winked as Mr. Gold would and turned, making sure not to look at Rose.

After the encounter, he continued to go to the diner. Pretenses needed to be kept up and he’d grown quite fond of the tea. Now, though, he didn’t look for Rose. He sat at the counter and didn’t look around. Sometimes she was there, sometimes she wasn’t. But he was Mr. Gold and Mr. Gold didn’t care one way or another.

Gold was still conscious of the way Rose watched him. Every second he sat, her eyes bore into him. She no longer avoided him looking at him; it was as if she begged him to turn. The feeling of her eyes didn’t leave him, even after he’d exited the diner. He wasn’t sure if it was because she’d followed him or if it was just him. Gold sure as hell wasn’t turning to find out.

Back at home, Gold sat in his empty living room. It was always dark at night. He didn’t feel the need to turn on the lights. But that was Rumpelstiltskin thinking. Gold stood from the sofa and flicked on the nearest lamp. Harsh, yellow light lit the living room and he limped into the kitchen to try and get away.

He didn’t want to go up to his bedroom. That was where all of Rumpelstiltskin things were kept. All his memories trapped in that room. Gold would sleep on the kitchen floor before he entered that room again. He leaned his forehead on the bar and sighed.

His eyes closed and his head rolled to the side. The counter was comfortable enough. Yes, he could sleep here.

But the shrill doorbell sounded, startling him awake. It sounded again and again, making it impossible to ignore. Groaning, he stood and cursed the fact that he turned the lights on. They were a dead giveaway he was home.

When he opened the door, the first thing that hit him was the smell of alcohol. Belle marched into him, pushing him backward. He stumbled a bit, but managed to keep on his feet. She was pointing at him, her eyes a bit hazy, but still lucid.

“You remember,” she declared.

“Ms. French—”

“Don’t give me that! You know who I am!”

“You’re intoxicated, and I think it’s best we get you home, Ms. French,” he grabbed her arm but she ripped it from him with enough force to knock into his coatrack.

“Stop it! Stop it, stop it!” She sunk against the wall.

“Rose,” he said and immediately wished to take it back. A loud sob broke from her throat and she doubled over, holding her stomach.

“It’s alright,” he placed a hand on her back. She didn’t look up.

“Rum,” she breathed and his heart sputtered at his name, “Tell me I’m not crazy.”

Belle—no he couldn’t use that name. He couldn’t call her Rose either. “Dear, I—”

His reply was cut short. She was kissing him, plastering herself to him. Her lips were desperate and she tore at his clothing. Her breath was stained with alcohol and her movements were clumsy, but she got his tie undone and was sliding it from his collar. He was helpless. His beautiful, broken Belle needed comfort. This was how she sought it.

He should have pulled away from her; he should have done the right thing and told her to stop. But he was a coward. Always a coward.

His jacket was next, her mouth still desperately moving with his. Her hands tugged at her dress and she parted only long enough to free it from her shoulders. Like the coward he’d always been, he let his hands glide over her perfect skin, moaning when she slipped her tongue back into his mouth. She was pushing him as she undid his buttons, pushing him too quickly. He stumbled over the step by his door and he landed with a loud crash as he took the end table with him.

Belle landed hard on top of him, knocking the breath out of him. She clutched to his half open shirt and continued weeping, gasping more than he was.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered over and over, rubbing her bare lower back.

“I’m not crazy. I know you.”

Sitting up, he forced her away from him, “Rose,” he tried not to wince as she sharply inhaled. Her tears brought back some sense to him. He leaned across her and took her rumpled dress from the ground. Without looking at him, she took it. “Let me walk you home.”

But she didn’t stand. So he didn’t stand. He kept his eyes on her face, away from her barely clothed body.

“I can’t tell you what you want to hear,” he said quietly, “I just can’t.”

Licking her lips, she looked up at him with such hesitation, he had to pull her to him.

She shook her head and pushed him away. “I’m sorry, Mr. Gold.”

“It’s alright, Ms. French.”

Still staggering a bit, she rose to her feet. He concentrated on standing and not on her as she pulled her dress back on. It didn’t occur to him he should be fixing his own clothing until she eyed his open shirt.

She didn’t wait for him, but went to the door.

“Ms. French,” He hurried out after her, hurrying to tuck his shirt back into his belt. Her breathing was still a bit haggard and tears still hung on her cheeks, but she’d stopped to listen. Still, she refused to look at him.

“What?”

Taking her hand, he kissed the top of it, “You need to be protected. It’s what I’m trying to do. Please know that.”

Slowly, she slipped her hand from his and nodded. When she finally looked at him, there was still pain in her eyes, but the tears had stopped.

“Good bye, Mr. Gold.”

His throat tightened as she descended the stairs. This could be fixed. He had to believe that. Belle would forgive him. She would see why he wasn’t there for her in the moment she needed him. Regina’s threat would be enough for her to forgive. He wasn’t strong enough here to protect her.

When the curse broke, Belle would forgive him.

And maybe, if he told himself this enough times, he would believe that.


End file.
